also, i'd like to get my hair done every day

Weddings are wonderful for many reasons, but one of the more superficial ones—if you're a girl and if you're in the wedding—is that you get to have your hair done.

Not just like washed and brushed, because I hope you do that every day, even if there isn't a wonderful wedding going on.

But done as in: You sit in a chair and someone uses a lot of product and bobby pins on your hair. Curling irons are usually involved, as is purposely ratting your hair so that it has more volume and oomph than it does, say, on a normal Tuesday.

Volume and ratting = fancy. Remember that.

So I had my hair done on Saturday, and when I first sat down in the chair, the stylist asked me, "Do you have any thoughts for how you'd like your hair done?"

"Well, considering the last time I had my hair done was for prom, circa 2000, I'm going to say no. All I know is that I probably don't need to see that many ringlets on my head ever again."

"Okay..." Obviously, the stylist was a bit at a loss. "No ringlets" isn't helpful when you're facing a mass of thick hair.

I tried to give her more help.

"I've been watching a lot of BBC period pieces recently. So if you could channel any Jane Austen movie or Downton Abbey, that'd work well. I think low, swept to the side with maybe some pinned curls. Or think Audrey Hepburn. Classy. Polished. Put together. But with some flair."

"Okay..." The stylist continued to stare at my hair, waiting for, I presume, the image of a Audrey Hepburn playing Elizabeth Bennet to come to mind.

While she thought, I kept talking.

"You know, I've been thinking how wonderful it would be to have a lady's maid. You know, someone to do my hair every day and help me choose dresses and jewelry and maybe just the right perfume for a particular evening. Not that I think you're my lady's maid today; I didn't mean to imply that. And I guess I would have to be a lady first. I mean, I am a lady, in the girl sense, but I mean a lady in the 'everyone should curtsy to me' sense."

I don't think this last bit of talking did any good, but considering my vague, BBC-based suggestions, I think the stylist did well. You can see for yourself below.

And I'd still like to have a lady's maid, just so you know. My experience on Saturday only solidified this idea.