15 November 2011

what i shouted at npr today

On my way to the gym this morning, I was listening to NPR, as I am wont to do in the before-light hours so that I can be better prepared for the day and any possible discussions of news.

It also helps me plan my outfit for the day—that weather report is so useful.

This morning, NPR reported on the dismal progress of the supercommittee, the bipartisan group that is supposed to be hammering out a deal to cut the country's deficit by more than a trillion dollars over the next 10 years. Their deadline is Thanksgiving, and David Wellna said something pithy and very NPR: "So that means they only need to find, oh, about $133 billion a day in possible cuts until the deadline."

And before I could stop myself, I was yelling, "I hate you, supercommittee! You aren't super at all!"

Only the streetlights on Harrison in Wheaton heard me, and they didn't even flicker at my Angry Citizen outburst.

I kept going; I clearly needed an outlet for this rage and the streetlights didn't seem to mind.

"No, not super at all! What have you been doing since August? Trying to come up with superhero nicknames for each other? Designing your outfits?

"Here's the deal: I've taken over designing your outfits, and NONE of you get capes. And you all have to wear your underwear on the outside of your pants. And your pants will be seven sizes too large in in your least favorite color.

"Also, they will be made of the itchiest wool ever created, and they will smell like sheep. Wet sheep.

"How super do you feel in that, huh, supercommittee?"

As I stopped at the four-way stop sign at President, I tried to calm myself down. Tried to see things from their perspective.

"Look, I know I don't know what it's like in Washington. I've been there a couple of times, and it seems pretty and historic, but no, I've never had to find a trillion dollars in the country's proverbial couch cushions.

"I'm sure this has been hard on you. All that political posturing couldn't have been good for you, probably put quite a strain on your back, actually.

"But come on, everybody said that you'd have to reach a deal because if you didn't, immediate budget cuts to defense and other programs would go into effect. Now, though, you're all talking about how if Congress put that trigger in place, it can just as easily remove that trigger.

"HOW IS THAT FAIR? What was the point of the trigger then?!?! What was the point of you, supercommitte?!?"

Obviously, I didn't maintain my cool head.

I couldn't help myself. This morning, I was channeling a bit of Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women on my way to the gym.

Like in this video {ooh, a video! Such fun on the blog here today!}. Thanks to her, I sometimes wish I spoke with a Southern accent.


  1. I hate them too!! Grah! It's just maddening to think about.

  2. I'm about to get in the car to drive home -- with NPR on. I best be hearing an update on how the supercommittee pulled it together today. FINALLY.

  3. This is one of my favorite Julia Sugarbaker terminator speeches. I know that's not the total purpose of the entry, but man do I just nod and say, "Yes'm, yes ma'am!"



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