let it snow

"The thing I don't like," I told a friend as we drove through Glen Ellyn, "are people who still have up their outside Christmas decorations. I realize that it's been -40 degrees out and snowy and dangerous, so I can cut some slack for still having the decorations out. But why do they still light them?"

I was speaking specifically about this house that still has up those blow-up outdoor decorations. You know, the kind that inflate with a fan and tend to dance around a bit, as if Santa and his elves are studying to be Elvis. They're noisy and they're big, and even though we are now months from Christmas, I can't think of them without feeling quite bah-humbug.

And I can't help but think of them since a house in my neighborhood still has them up.

"Christmas is long gone! Let it go! It's practically spring!" Perhaps because I don't have enough to be frustrated about in my life, I decided to make up some aggression and stress related to Christmas decorations—maybe, but I'm going to think about that later. Right now, I'm going to say:

BLESS THE GOOD LORD, IT'S PRACTICALLY SPRING.

In fact, wait, no, let me revise that: as of today, IT IS SPRING.

We have made it, everyone. It has been a long, cruel, strange, record-breaking winter, but we have survived, and for that we deserve a prize.

Prizes I Would Accept Related to Spring

• Tulips
• Sleeping with the windows open
• Asparagus
• Taking Little Pug for a long walk and watching her try to jump over puddles as all the snow melts
• Speaking of which: MELTED SNOW {so I guess I'm saying that I would accept water as a prize}
• Reading outside
• Green grass
• Daffodils
• People taking down their Christmas decorations

Ah, yes, the Christmas decorations. I think it's safe to say that I was ranting about them because I was upset that it was March and still so snowy and icy out, but it's illogical to be upset at the weather. I took it out on Christmas decorations instead, which, by the way, is the smart way to handle frustration: displacement and getting upset over something trivial.

After I finished my rant, huffing and puffing as I glared at the Santa blow-up, my friend cautiously said, "But don't you still have up a Christmas wreath inside?"

Oh.

Well.

Technically, yes.

But really, when you think about it, why limit wreaths to just Christmas time? They are, much like snowmen and salt-stained snow boots, a winter decoration. They bring the cheer of that holiday season—when we all marvel at having a tree in our house—into what would be the more blah months of January and February.

Yes, that sounds good.

I tried this reasoning on my friend, who said nothing in return and instead let a pointed silence fall as the best way of pointing out my hypocritical ways.

I wondered, at that point, if I should also remind her that I have on my kitchen windowsill this wooden cutout thing of snowmen. One of them is holding a sign that says "Let It Snow."

Now, clearly, that is a winter decoration, but keeping it up all the way through March may have been sending mixed signals to the weather. A wintry mix, if you will.

On the one hand, I say that while the snow is lovely, I believe it should be done because I'd like to go outside sans snowboots for the first time in months.

On the other hand, I stick a sign by the window encouraging MORE SNOW.*

And on both hands, the only conclusion is: I brought all this snow on us by leaving up my snow signs for far longer than I should.

I am sorry. I will buy everyone tulips to make up for it.



* I should also point out, but in a place that maybe not many people will read it**, that I also have a cross-stitched decoration up on my bedside table—it's of a snowman, and my grandma made it. He looks delighted at the snowflakes all around him {as he should since they're his lifeblood}, and he's grinning at a sign that says "Let It Snow."

** And I should point out that on my kitchen window, I have these fun sticky letters that spell out {of course} "Let It Snow." Man, I really seem to be stuck in an obvious rut with my winter decorations.